bear on a unicycle

I was at the mechanic for a car check-up and the WSJ was sitting on the coffee table with the dire wolf “unexctinction” story on the cover. I pointed it out to the receptionist, she was an older lady just chilling on a quiet morning. I explained it in a sentence. She walks over, picks up the paper, and quickly says it:

“Why do we need to bring them back?”

I have a sympathetic look on my face, but it’s an obvious retort. The look says “Do you really have to ask”?

She nods immediately, answering her own question…

“Because we can”.

She has the same understanding of human nature as I do. It’s not just curiosity. Animals have that. It’s more like a desire to climb obstacles just because. Even if the obstacles are fabricated.

I call it the “Guinness Book impulse”.

Just look at some of these records:

• Most Rotations Hanging from a Power Drill in One Minute
• Farthest Milk Squirting Distance
• Most Watermelons Chopped on the Stomach in One Minute
• Most Snails on the Face for 10 Seconds
• Most Toilet Seats Broken By the Head in One Minute
• and of course…Most Guinness World Records Titles

No other species does this. When a bear rides a unicycle, it’s because a human made her do it.

The Guinness Book impulse feels like a law of nature. A reliable feature of homo sapiens. Presumably, it’s been adaptive.

Acceleration is accelerating. Faster than institutions, our psyches, our understanding can grok the thing we just learned about.

Which curve is in charge?

Everyone is on a unicycle now.

Are you the human?

Or the bear?